Staying Alive

Bishop got up in sacrament meeting yesterday, and announced, "Brothers and sisters, just as a reminder, starting at the beginning of January, our meeting time will change from 1pm to 9am with leadership meetings being held before church."

*you've got to be kidding me*

I knew it. I knew this was going to happen....I'd get transferred from a ward that met at 9am to a ward that met in the afternoon, just to have it changed at the beginning of the year back to 9am. Called it:) I guess I'll never get my wish of being able to "sleep in" till 6:30 on Sundays, so in the mean time, I'll just appreciate the fact that I'm an early bird:)

This week has left me brain fried and bone tired, but I made it:) Leaving Buffalo Grove was one of the hardest things I've ever done on my mission. I cried myself to sleep that last night, feeling like my heart was breaking and wishing more than anything that I could just stop time and never leave. But, the Lord has a plan and with that plan He gives us the strength to overcome and achieve. I've felt Him so near--SO near--as I've taken every day since leaving BG, one step at a time.

I still miss it. I can't see an Oregon ducks bumper sticker without thinking of the O'Briens. I can't drive past Harding st. without thinking of the Kumars. I can't hear a Georgian accent (or visit the hospital:) without thinking of the Robisons. I can't pass Bass Pro Shops without thinking of the Kuffers. I can't notice Taco Bell without hoping for a reunion with the Eyres. And when we were at the mission home this week, and President Woodbury offered me an "amazing Austrian cookie from the Lex's," I just about cried.

Those members, those investigators, those people.....they have my heart! And it hurts to be so far from them. I wondered as I sat in church yesterday, surrounded by people I didn't know and who didn't know me and feeling sorry for myself, how I'd ever be able to let go of my old area, those relationships, those memories and to move on. Almost immediately, the spirit reminded me of a letter Pres Woodbury had written to the missionaries a short while ago. He wrote about receiving a new heart from the Lord (Ezekiel 36:26) as we turn over our hearts to Him: "He will give it back to you new and refreshed, full of hope for good things to come and full of love for Him and all mankind."

I realized in that moment that I didn't need to forget.....I didn't need to forget those people I loved, those memories I cherished, or those relationships I'd formed. Those will always be close to my heart. All He asks of me now is to continue to love even more. That loves never runs out, and I DO have more to give, because He'll fill my heart with love for these new people as I strive to be His hands here in Westchester.

*Keep Calm. Love On*

That's what I'll do:)

This area is a 180 from Buffalo Grove. I'm back to buzzing buzzer boards, smelling weed in almost every apartment complex we visit, ignoring the cat calls and whistles while walking the streets as the only two white girls around, and....of course....life isn't complete in Chicago without getting honked at every time we change lanes or the light turns green.

>>TBT to the Evanston days<<

We're having fun though...and every day is an adventure......like when the elders texted us Saturday evening asking us if we could go to the church building THAT night and find a baptismal dress for their investigator who was getting baptized the NEXT day. Nothing quite like cramming at the last minute, elders:) So we naturally head over there, and Sis Green goes to open the baptismal closet only to find that it's locked. Well....only one thing to do. While Sis Green starts scrolling through the phone to locate someone to open the closet for us...

.....I pulled a credit card out of my wallet.......

Hey, ya gotta do whatchya gotta do sometimes:) I explained to Sis Green later that at college, it was easier for me to pull my student ID out of my pocket when I got back to my apartment than to go digging for my keys in my dark abyss of a backpack. Sooooooo....i got pretty good at the push-and-slide technique. You never know when stuff like that is going to come in handy.....just saying:)

AND...the elders' investigator had her outfit pressed and ready for her by the next morning.

Mission accomplished. hahaha!

On Wednesday, we were invited to gather as a zone downtown at the Kris Kringle market to carol and give out hot chocolate. After an hour of driving and another half hour of trying to find a parking spot, we finally started off on foot to walk about a quarter mile to where our zone was caroling. Before we'd gone very far though, we stopped in at a CVS to use the restroom, but before we'd even made it to the back of the store, a man bumped into us, saw our name tags and said, "Mormons!" We were a bit surprised, but told him that's who we were to which he responded, "I need to talk to you."

Well ok....

He escorted us out into the metra food court and sat us down at a table. Then, for over an hour he talked and talked and talked.....all about his life, serving in the Vietnam war, his struggle with PTSD, giving us life advice (including how NOT to "run off after our missions and marry the first guy we meet":), his relationship with God, and a million other topics (not the least of which was his view on physical fitness, how "beautiful and angelic" our faces were, the ingratitude of younger generation "yuppies," and the corrupt politicians of America). In any other circumstance, I'd have been totally creeped out, eyeing the closest exit, and possibly speed dialing the elders. However, as we sat there with him, the spirit prompted, "Just listen."

Our zone was waiting for us, we were already half an hour late, and it was getting dark, but the spirit spoke, so we sat there. Honestly, I couldn't take my eyes off him; I was totally intrigued by this perfect stranger sitting in front of me, telling me all about his life and struggles. He fascinated me, and though we didn't say hardly two words during the whole hour we "visited" with him, I knew that's where we were supposed to be. He began wrapping up, talking about how he was haunted every night by the memories of his time in Vietnam. His eyes clouded as he told us he'd wake up in cold sweats, see the faces of those he had been forced to kill, and hear Vietnamese phrases screaming in his dreams. "But, he said, there's nothing you or I can do about it. I've asked God to take it from me and He hasn't......so that's the way it is."

Immediately, the spirit spoke directly to my mind, "PROMISE him, right now, that his PTSD will be taken from him if he reads the Book of Mormon and pursues this course." I was taken off guard. I've always wanted to have an experience on my mission where the spirit directed me to promise a specific and....let's be honest....impressive…blessing to an individual. However, when the prompting came, I instinctively questioned it. "I don't know the ins and outs of PTSD. If doctors and psychologists can't help him, how am I supposed to make this promise to him?? I don't want to get his hopes up. Maybe this prompting isn't from the spirit, it's just wishful thinking."

But that prompting kept coming and coming, until I KNEW that it was undeniably given by the spirit. I finally spoke up, "Dave, you said just a moment ago that we couldn't do anything for you....and to a point that's true. But I KNOW that your Savior, Jesus Christ can and will." I testified to him of the divine mission of Christ to administer to those in need, and to save us from our pain and suffering. Then, I extended a Book of Mormon to him and said, "As messengers of Him, I can I promise you that if you read this book....and follow its teachings and continue to progress towards Him...your PTSD will be alleviated."

I'm sure my companion was a bit shocked, but once the words left my mouth, I knew they were meant to be said. He just looked at me for a second, his eyes bloodshot and teary....and then said, "I'll give you my word, I'll read it tonight." Before he walked away from us that night, he told us, "I can't tell you enough what this has meant to me." We hadn't solved all his problems, given him every answer to all his questions, or even taught him earth-shattering doctrine.....but we had LISTENED. We'd loved. And through the spirit, we'd promised him a blessing that only God could give.

I walked away from that conversation, so deeply grateful to the Lord for giving me the opportunity to be His servant.....His messenger....to a man who needed two young girls to just listen. It took an hour long drive into the city, a half hour of driving in circles to find parking, and a quarter mile walk on foot, for the spirit to bring us to him.....but he did. And there's no better feeling than knowing you were in the right place at the right time, for the one person that needed you. How grateful I am that I was the one given that incredible opportunity!

   

The rest of our week consisted of an amazing (and much-needed) trip to the temple, a Christmas lunch and uplifting devotional at the mission home, a beautiful blessing and interview with President Woodbury, and a lot of introductions to investigators, members, and ward leadership.

I'm exhausted. But I'm alive:)

Quick health update: all the tests are in, and still no answers. After a lot of prayer, I've felt that the Lord's will for me is that I endure these challenges for these last few months I have left. It's frustrating to not feel at my best all the time, especially when all I want is to go fast and hard till the end, but the Lord has a plan, and for now, I'm putting it in His hands. I've decided to put further tests and doctors appointments on hold until I'm back home, and to instead just take it a day at a time, trusting in His strength to pull me through:)

Thank you for your love and prayers! They work miracles out here!! This work is hard and demanding, but it is oh, so rewarding!

Onward and upward,

Sister Anna Parker

i saw santa in his.....honda..... #theregoesmychildhoodfantasy

our missionary christmas tree:)

TEMPLE!!!!

Beautiful Heartbreak

I know, I know....I've missed like 3 weeks.....you can fire me. AND.....on top of it, the computers won't let me upload pictures sooooooo....stay posted for pics when I get it figured out:) 

(I'm posting two posts today to make up for the past 3 weeks....so go check the other one out too:) 

Ok moving on........

Over the past few weeks, the medical issues have been getting worse, so I finally agreed to go in for an MRI and an EEG. I called, scheduled an appointment, and then the nurse explained that they wanted me sleep-deprived for the EEG. No problemo. SOML. BUT.....she had to take it a step further by telling me that I could only have 4 hours of sleep the night before.

kill joy

Wednesday night was the big legal late-night.....and it consisted of watching every church-produced movie in the apartment, writing letters to missionaries, soaking in the tub, doodling, cleaning the kitchen, and painting nails. That's the STRAIGHTEST late night I'll ever have:) lol!

#holy

Needless to say, I was more than tired the next day, but after getting to the hospital, having over 20 electric wires attached to my head after what felt like half my scalp was scrubbed off, and talking to the nurse for over 30 min trying to clear up her firm belief that we practice polygamy, all the while she had "Pregnant and I Didn't Know It" on on the tv.....it was a little more than hard trying to sleep on command. I managed to "rest" through it though, and ended up giving the nurse a He is the Gift card before leaving.

The MRI went well.....no where near as bad as I thought it would be, and after that was done we went back to the front desk to contact Peter. We'd met Peter that morning when I went to register, and he'd been standing there talking to one of the receptionists. When he saw our name tags, he asked us a bunch of questions about what we did, where we were located, and some of our basic beliefs. Between signing medical forms, getting fitted with a hospital wrist band, and showing ID, I managed to tell him about our purpose as missionaries. When he found that we believed in the Bible, he offered, "That's fantastic! Y'know a group of my friends and I get together every Tuesday night for Bible study, and we'd love to have you join and share some insight."

Where do I sign??

hahaha! We were surprised, but readily accepted his invitation. That very morning as I'd been getting ready to head to the hospital, as I put my name tag on, I got the impression that there was some one at the hospital that day that needed me to be there. Turns out, it didn't take us 10 minutes from walking in the door, to meet Peter!! God has a plan. And though it perhaps took a lot of stress, anxiety, worry, pain, frustration, and lack of sleep on my end......if He needed Peter to find the truth through me in that way....then this is all worth it.

When we finished the tests and went back to talk with him (he works in the hospital), he met us with, "I was hoping you'd come back!" He handed over his information to us and announced loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear, "We'd love to have the Latter-day Saints at our Bible study! You Mormons are great!"

He's going to make an AWESOME member missionary when he joins:)

We're so excited to have this opportunity and Peter just seems like one of those people who's been prepared to receive the message! God works in mysterious ways;)

The next morning, I woke up early around 4am and couldn't sleep. I was completely weak, shaky, and yet so anxious that I couldn't lie still. Around 7:15 that morning, I passed out on my way to the living room and had another muscle spasm episode that lasted longer than any previous episodes. This time, Sis Carroll called 911 and the EMT's soon showed up (come to find, one of them was the EMT we met and visited with Thanksgiving night when we delivered goodies to the firehouse..... AWKWARD ......yep, I'm as lucky as 13, I swear:). After taking my blood sugar, heart rate, and blood pressure, they told me I needed to go to the hospital. Not again......

But, sure enough, after receiving orders from my neurologist to go in, we ended up at the ER.....again. And just like times before, they didn't find anything seriously wrong. They even reviewed my tests from the day before and reported that the MRI and the EEG were both clear.

*tell me, tell me, tell me something i don't know, something I don't know*

Geez laweez.

So after being discharged, I was sent over to out-patient services to get hooked up to a 48 hr halter monitor......classy, I know. For the first 24 hours I felt like a jihadist every time I brushed against the device.....gawl.

Then, Saturday night, we finally had a lesson with Harry (our referral from our Indian library friend:). We met at the church, and began teaching him the Plan of Salvation since he doesn't have any Christian background. We brought a member of our ward who is also from India and it was incredible to feel the spirit and see the unique interactions between the two of them! By the end of the lesson, HE COMMITTED TO BAPTISM!!!!  We were blown away by his willingness to accept the challenge to follow Jesus Christ and to change his life. We were bouncing off the walls after he'd left and couldn't help but do the awkward hug-laugh-cry-jump up and down-and-scream act. It was pretty legit:)

That night also turned out to be the night of transfers. We got the news.......I'M LEAVING BG2:( My heart literally feels like it's breaking. After 9 months (half my mission!) in this area, these people have become family to me, and it is ripping my heart out to have to say goodbye. However, after we got the call, I was overcome with peace and assurance that this is what needs to happen. I'm heading down to south west Chicago to Westerchester. It's going to be a complete 180 from my rural buffalo grove experience, but I'm just striving for the faith to put one foot after the other.

Sunday I was a wreck. SO MANY. TEARS. I seriously don't think I've cried and hugged more in one day. I doesn't quite feel real yet. I feel so welcome, so loved, and so.....at home.......it's SO hard to leave it all behind!! These people have ALL of my heart.....and I wouldn't have it any other way.

One of the last highlight moments of our weekend (even though I was a mess trying to say goodbye to everyone) was when we visited Rita, an investigator who's been interested in the church for a long time, but has just never actually taken the plunge. We stopped by and I sensed that something was wrong. She opened up to us about some health and mental issues she's been facing, and the spirit began pounding me with promptings: suggest that she get a priesthood blessing. I could NOT ignore the prompting, it was so strong, so I asked her if she'd like to receive one. We ended up having a lengthy conversation about the purpose, organization, and strength given through a blessing. After considering it for a while, she agreed and we arranged for her to receive a blessing.

The next night, at a Christmas devotional at the church, she came up to me with tears in her eyes, took me in a hug, and said, "I got my blessing......and all I can say is thank you! Thank you!! Because you offered that to me, I was brought into the presence of God in a way I've never been before. It was like, I was SO close to Him! And it was all because you were close enough to the holy spirit, to know that that's what I needed! So thank you!! Thank you for being obedient, for coming on your mission......for me! You have truly changed my life and become a daughter to me!! Thank you, thank you!!" and she and I just sat there together and cried in each others' arms!

AH!!! It's hard to describe why a moment like that means so much to a missionary--to me! But it's moments like that that I can't help but feel, "I'm doing something right! I don't have it all figured out, I make mistakes ALL the time, I question and doubt myself.....but right here, right now, I did something right. I made a difference. And it's all worth it!" All the struggle, the pain, the heartbreak, the difficulties, the criticism, the fears, the effort......it's not wasted. I knew in that moment that I'd made Him proud, and that's all I want out of my mission.....to make Him proud of me.

I believe that that experience softened the blow of transfers, because it put into perspective for me, the fact that this work is not about me. It's not about what I want, and that's the way it should be. Because the greatest--the purest--joy in this work, comes not in making myself happy, but in making others happy eternally.

I can't even express how grateful I am for the months I was able to spend in Buffalo Grove. My heart, I know, is going to long for this place for the remainder of my mission, and beyond, but it gives me SO much peace knowing that the relationships I've grown, the friendships I've gained, the experiences I've had, and even the heartache and sorrow I've endured......it's ALL been worth it. And no one can take that from me!

Onward and upward,

Sis Anna Parker

 packing the night before leaving BG..... :'(

 gotta get my kisses in<3

 <3 these girls!





Here we go again.......

Guilty As Charged

Guilty as charged.........yes, I didn't post last week.

Oops.

It was one of those weeks that just kinda got away from us......nah my fault:) So anyways.....here's my attempt at make-up:

We were sitting in district meeting this past week while our district leader taught about the importance of obedience and submitting our will to the Lord's when one of the elders from the back of the room raised his hand and said, "If I may, I'd like to compare this to my favorite movie.......[PAUSE].......Princess Diaries."

 Did he really just say that??

Straight up

The look on our district leader's face was p.r.i.c.e.l.e.s.s.....nuff said. It was taking everything in him not to burst out laughing but his contorting face just made it harder for the rest of us to stay sober while the elder continued, "Y'know....the whole obedience factor. The way he's always saying, 'as you wish'.....y'know it just shows his willingness to obey her every command."

[awkward silence and confused glances]

Finally one of the elders said, "Ummm....dude I think you're talking about the Princess Bride......NOT Princess Diaries...." and THAT'S when we all lost it!!! bahahahaha   oh my gosh.

funniest moment of. my. life.

geez elders......i worry about them sometimes:P

So anywhos...we've been all over the map this week. On Thursday we were finally able to meet with Dan, the one who said he wants to serve a mission. We brought one of the young women in the ward with us and the lesson went SO well! By the end, after we'd testified of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith, we asked him if he'd pray to know for himself. He responded, "Yea, sure. You guys know it's true, so now I really want to find out if it is too!"

Golden

He took a Book of Mormon and agreed to read and pray about it! I swear, these young people are so incredible! They're actively seeking out truth and have such a willingness to accept it when they find it! It's amazing!!

And talking about young people, we also met with Allison, Dave's daughter, to answer her questions in regards to religion and gospel doctrine. She's only a junior in high school yet the questions she kept asking us were so profound and she was so ready to listen and learn.....ah! it was almost too good to be true! We spent nearly and hour and an half teaching her doctrine from almost every lesson as she kept asking questions: "What's the point of having trials?" "What happens to those who don't know about God when they die?" "Why is smoking or drinking wrong?" "Why is the Bible so hard to understand sometimes?" "Why don't we have prophets now?" and on and on and on!!

We were BLOWN AWAY by her dedicated search for truth! And there was no better feeling than when we'd answer her questions and she'd sit back, wide eyed and say, "Yes! That makes sense! I get it! That totally makes sense!!!"

Best. Feeling. EVER.

Basically....she's incredible and we're SO lucky to be teaching her! The Lord really is preparing hears to hear the truth and these young people are proving it!

...........on a more serious note.........

.......ok....so........here's more on why I didn't get a post up last week. My health issues began acting up around Tuesday when I woke up completely exhausted. I began losing my appetite and the exhaustion continued throughout the week, meanwhile I fainted probably 2 or 3 times before the weekend hit. Then, Saturday morning, I woke up after struggling to sleep and started off the day, but had like zero energy so I eventually ended up back on my bed before starting personal study. I stood up to get dressed before I knew it, I'd passed out.

From what I'm told, I had some type of seizure (muscle spasm thing...idk what) that lasted about 15 seconds and thoroughly terrified my companion. After I'd laid there for 2-3 minutes, Sis Carroll called our ward mission leader and some other members for help. Basically.....the rest of that morning was a blur. I was completely WIPED. Our ward mission leader and his wife came to our rescue and headed over to make sure I was ok. I ended up resting for the morning, trying to regain some strength, but by noon I was plain stir crazy and against my companion’s suggestions, we went out to work.

Yea, idk if that was the best idea physically, but mentally I was content:) I HATE being cooped up and especially as a missionary....its the WORST:] By that evening, we made it to stake conference where I was accompanied three sisters from the stake on a musical number and THEN.....Pres Woodbury also asked that James Kumar, his brother, his dad, me, and a member who assisted in teaching James come up and do a live case study complete with testimonies. James was the first to speak, and he shared his complete conversion story.

Sitting there, feeling SO physically weak and drained, yet hearing him bear witness of the truth which he's found in the gospel, testifying to how it has changed and continues to change his life, and how he knows of himself that the church is undeniably true......AH!!! I've rarely had a happier moment in my life!! Watching him stand in front of hundreds of people, bearing his testimony with such conviction......I was SO proud! SO PROUD!!!

When his brother (our current investigator) then got up to talk about the changes he's seen in his brother since he's joined the church....man! The spirit was SO strong!! You could just feel the power and love that surrounded all us on that stage!! I then got the chance to talk about what it was like to teach James and that was SUCH a precious moment for me! James really was a miracle in my life and continues to be such a blessing!! Testifying of that to the world from that podium.....PRICELESS!

After we'd all finished our testimonies, President Woodbury got up and said only a few words, "Brothers and sisters, do you feel that? Do you feel that love? Do you see it? Remember what you've felt and seen tonight. The gospel is about love. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Out with a bang! AH!!

It was one of those 2% moments that I LIVE FOR!!

 I don't think I'll forget that night for as long as I live!!!!!!! It was truly POWERFUL!!!! And we also found out that night that......I'M STAYING ANOTHER TRANSFER IN BG2!!!! That'll be half my mission in one area and I couldn't be happier to be staying!!!!! It's almost unheard of for a sister to stay in one area this long, so I know it's a miracle that I'm getting another 5 weeks here!!! yaaaaaaa!!!

The Lord is oh SO good to me:)

The health issues are still a challenge and I don’t know yet what’s going to happen, but I know it’s in His hands. Through it all, I've felt a powerful peace that it's all going to be OK. As I've thought about what to do to deal with these trails, it's been difficult to know what the best path to take is. The medical issues make me feel like I'm incapable and weak….like I can't do as much as I think and wish I could. And it's FRUSTRATING.

However, these trials have been teaching me to rely more on the Lord, to seek His help more earnestly, and to realize that I can’t do this work alone. I’m not meant to do it on my own. And only with His help will I succeed in overcoming these obstacles. I’ve come to realize that these struggles are helping me prove myself to Him. Even when it’s tough, even when it’s not easy, even when I’m exhausted, weak, and confused……do I still give Him my best, whatever that may be? Do I recognize His answers to my pleas for help? Do I turn to Him and say, “I can’t do this alone, so help me do it with your strength”?

Yea, these challenges aren’t easy. They’re not enjoyable. But they’re teaching me lessons I need to learn, and through it all, my relationship with Him is growing stronger and stronger.

I still don't know what’s going to happen or what path I should take, but I DO feel a strong reassurance that everything will be alright.

It’s in His hands.

So onward and upward!

<3 Sis Anna Parker

do whatchya gotta do when you only have 10 minutes to paint your toenails #sismishlife 

ok so we tried to make origami temples on night.....yea.....we followed the same instructions and ended up with two COMPLETELY different temples.....#howdoesthathappen

Sweetie (the doll behind me in pink) said she wanted to take a selfie with us making "cool faces".......so we did;) #thatshowwedoit #2cool4school

p-day shopping haul.....YES to F21 and BandBW  #shopaholic #lotionaddict

leave it to me to find this shirt in Bass Pro Shops;) Yea...we were like the only two girls in the store #noshame #cowgirlatheart #lovememyguns

don't ask......last district photo   #wthelders #strange