Beautiful Heartbreak

I know, I know....I've missed like 3 weeks.....you can fire me. AND.....on top of it, the computers won't let me upload pictures sooooooo....stay posted for pics when I get it figured out:) 

(I'm posting two posts today to make up for the past 3 weeks....so go check the other one out too:) 

Ok moving on........

Over the past few weeks, the medical issues have been getting worse, so I finally agreed to go in for an MRI and an EEG. I called, scheduled an appointment, and then the nurse explained that they wanted me sleep-deprived for the EEG. No problemo. SOML. BUT.....she had to take it a step further by telling me that I could only have 4 hours of sleep the night before.

kill joy

Wednesday night was the big legal late-night.....and it consisted of watching every church-produced movie in the apartment, writing letters to missionaries, soaking in the tub, doodling, cleaning the kitchen, and painting nails. That's the STRAIGHTEST late night I'll ever have:) lol!

#holy

Needless to say, I was more than tired the next day, but after getting to the hospital, having over 20 electric wires attached to my head after what felt like half my scalp was scrubbed off, and talking to the nurse for over 30 min trying to clear up her firm belief that we practice polygamy, all the while she had "Pregnant and I Didn't Know It" on on the tv.....it was a little more than hard trying to sleep on command. I managed to "rest" through it though, and ended up giving the nurse a He is the Gift card before leaving.

The MRI went well.....no where near as bad as I thought it would be, and after that was done we went back to the front desk to contact Peter. We'd met Peter that morning when I went to register, and he'd been standing there talking to one of the receptionists. When he saw our name tags, he asked us a bunch of questions about what we did, where we were located, and some of our basic beliefs. Between signing medical forms, getting fitted with a hospital wrist band, and showing ID, I managed to tell him about our purpose as missionaries. When he found that we believed in the Bible, he offered, "That's fantastic! Y'know a group of my friends and I get together every Tuesday night for Bible study, and we'd love to have you join and share some insight."

Where do I sign??

hahaha! We were surprised, but readily accepted his invitation. That very morning as I'd been getting ready to head to the hospital, as I put my name tag on, I got the impression that there was some one at the hospital that day that needed me to be there. Turns out, it didn't take us 10 minutes from walking in the door, to meet Peter!! God has a plan. And though it perhaps took a lot of stress, anxiety, worry, pain, frustration, and lack of sleep on my end......if He needed Peter to find the truth through me in that way....then this is all worth it.

When we finished the tests and went back to talk with him (he works in the hospital), he met us with, "I was hoping you'd come back!" He handed over his information to us and announced loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear, "We'd love to have the Latter-day Saints at our Bible study! You Mormons are great!"

He's going to make an AWESOME member missionary when he joins:)

We're so excited to have this opportunity and Peter just seems like one of those people who's been prepared to receive the message! God works in mysterious ways;)

The next morning, I woke up early around 4am and couldn't sleep. I was completely weak, shaky, and yet so anxious that I couldn't lie still. Around 7:15 that morning, I passed out on my way to the living room and had another muscle spasm episode that lasted longer than any previous episodes. This time, Sis Carroll called 911 and the EMT's soon showed up (come to find, one of them was the EMT we met and visited with Thanksgiving night when we delivered goodies to the firehouse..... AWKWARD ......yep, I'm as lucky as 13, I swear:). After taking my blood sugar, heart rate, and blood pressure, they told me I needed to go to the hospital. Not again......

But, sure enough, after receiving orders from my neurologist to go in, we ended up at the ER.....again. And just like times before, they didn't find anything seriously wrong. They even reviewed my tests from the day before and reported that the MRI and the EEG were both clear.

*tell me, tell me, tell me something i don't know, something I don't know*

Geez laweez.

So after being discharged, I was sent over to out-patient services to get hooked up to a 48 hr halter monitor......classy, I know. For the first 24 hours I felt like a jihadist every time I brushed against the device.....gawl.

Then, Saturday night, we finally had a lesson with Harry (our referral from our Indian library friend:). We met at the church, and began teaching him the Plan of Salvation since he doesn't have any Christian background. We brought a member of our ward who is also from India and it was incredible to feel the spirit and see the unique interactions between the two of them! By the end of the lesson, HE COMMITTED TO BAPTISM!!!!  We were blown away by his willingness to accept the challenge to follow Jesus Christ and to change his life. We were bouncing off the walls after he'd left and couldn't help but do the awkward hug-laugh-cry-jump up and down-and-scream act. It was pretty legit:)

That night also turned out to be the night of transfers. We got the news.......I'M LEAVING BG2:( My heart literally feels like it's breaking. After 9 months (half my mission!) in this area, these people have become family to me, and it is ripping my heart out to have to say goodbye. However, after we got the call, I was overcome with peace and assurance that this is what needs to happen. I'm heading down to south west Chicago to Westerchester. It's going to be a complete 180 from my rural buffalo grove experience, but I'm just striving for the faith to put one foot after the other.

Sunday I was a wreck. SO MANY. TEARS. I seriously don't think I've cried and hugged more in one day. I doesn't quite feel real yet. I feel so welcome, so loved, and so.....at home.......it's SO hard to leave it all behind!! These people have ALL of my heart.....and I wouldn't have it any other way.

One of the last highlight moments of our weekend (even though I was a mess trying to say goodbye to everyone) was when we visited Rita, an investigator who's been interested in the church for a long time, but has just never actually taken the plunge. We stopped by and I sensed that something was wrong. She opened up to us about some health and mental issues she's been facing, and the spirit began pounding me with promptings: suggest that she get a priesthood blessing. I could NOT ignore the prompting, it was so strong, so I asked her if she'd like to receive one. We ended up having a lengthy conversation about the purpose, organization, and strength given through a blessing. After considering it for a while, she agreed and we arranged for her to receive a blessing.

The next night, at a Christmas devotional at the church, she came up to me with tears in her eyes, took me in a hug, and said, "I got my blessing......and all I can say is thank you! Thank you!! Because you offered that to me, I was brought into the presence of God in a way I've never been before. It was like, I was SO close to Him! And it was all because you were close enough to the holy spirit, to know that that's what I needed! So thank you!! Thank you for being obedient, for coming on your mission......for me! You have truly changed my life and become a daughter to me!! Thank you, thank you!!" and she and I just sat there together and cried in each others' arms!

AH!!! It's hard to describe why a moment like that means so much to a missionary--to me! But it's moments like that that I can't help but feel, "I'm doing something right! I don't have it all figured out, I make mistakes ALL the time, I question and doubt myself.....but right here, right now, I did something right. I made a difference. And it's all worth it!" All the struggle, the pain, the heartbreak, the difficulties, the criticism, the fears, the effort......it's not wasted. I knew in that moment that I'd made Him proud, and that's all I want out of my mission.....to make Him proud of me.

I believe that that experience softened the blow of transfers, because it put into perspective for me, the fact that this work is not about me. It's not about what I want, and that's the way it should be. Because the greatest--the purest--joy in this work, comes not in making myself happy, but in making others happy eternally.

I can't even express how grateful I am for the months I was able to spend in Buffalo Grove. My heart, I know, is going to long for this place for the remainder of my mission, and beyond, but it gives me SO much peace knowing that the relationships I've grown, the friendships I've gained, the experiences I've had, and even the heartache and sorrow I've endured......it's ALL been worth it. And no one can take that from me!

Onward and upward,

Sis Anna Parker

 packing the night before leaving BG..... :'(

 gotta get my kisses in<3

 <3 these girls!





Here we go again.......

Expect the Unexpected

I turned to Sis Carroll in the car this week with,

“I would do ANYTHING right now for some Bing Crosby Christmas music….”

*** no response ***

“You do know who Bing Crosby is, RIGHT???”

“Umm….I know who Bill Cosby is……”

Oh heck….what is this world coming to. Family: I need Bing Crosby Christmas music ASAP….if not for my sake….for Sis Carroll’s:) Our Christmas collection of Josh Groban, Pentatonix, and Michael Buble just isn’t complete:)

On with the week:

THANKSGIVING………was the b.o.m.b.

No joke…..probably THE best Thanksgiving I’ve EVER had!! We kicked off the morning at our ward mission leader’s (the O’briens) house who invited us over for some “service”…..decorating their Christmas tree.

I could’ve cried.

I was SO happy.

Stuff like that means the WORLD to missionaries who sometimes feel so far flung from the festive scene. So YES. I will GLADLY decorate any and all Christmas trees… just hit me up. We spent the rest of the afternoon helping them with dinner preparations….which again….(IF I can’t be playing in the turkey bowl with the guys:)….there’s nothing else I’d rather do on Thanksgiving than delve into the party planning and prep. And gotta say…..I make a MEAN dish of parmesan garlic mashed potatoes;)

 #readyforwifelife

…..Yea not really….but ANYWAYS…..

The O’Brien’s neighbors then came over to join us for dinner! The husband, James, is from Ghana and his wife, Gigi, is from Hong Kong…..and they came with two of T.H.E. most adorable boys (ages 2 and 4) in tow. I could’ve smothered them right then and there. Needless to say, it was a constant conflict of interest loving the “adult” conversation at the table but meanwhile arm-wrestling the cutest 4-year old of a kid that I’ve ever met.

#thestruggleisreal

By the end of dinner (after I’d introduced to cranberry “jiggle” and olives the perfect size for sticking on fingers), James and Gigi began asking us questions about our missions and the work that we do. The spirit became SO strong as James asked us, “What is it that keeps you going when you’re down, or rejected, or even if you feel like you don’t want to continue anymore?”

It was SUCH a sweet experience for me to testify to him of the Atonement, of my relationship with my Savior, and of His ability to heal all my pain, heartache, sorrow, and struggle. I told him the truth—that there are many moments when I wish I was home, that I could be free of the difficulties I face as a missionary, or even that I could lay down and sleep FOREVER because I’m so exhausted. BUT….what keeps me going?? I told him: the knowledge I have of what my Savior did for me. When I think of what He’s blessed me with, how He never gives up on me, and how I know He’s always there for me when I need Him……that knowledge makes me want to do nothing more than give back what little I can give.

The look in his eyes when I testified to him of the Savior’s infinite power and love, and of my conviction that He will strengthen, support, and help me through any trial that I—or anyone else—will ever face……AH!! That is a moment I will never forget! You could see it in his eyes that he was thinking about what was said, and I knew—I knew—he’d felt the spirit! The rest of our evening together was absolutely amazing, and at the end of the night, James and Gigi took our number and said they’d be interested in calling us for some service or “just to drop by” sometime! There is so much potential there and I’m beyond excited to see where it goes!

After dinner, we hit the road….this time….to some unexpected places;) Yes…..we ended up at the ER…. and the police station……AND the fire house.

 I swear, it’s not what you think it is;)

So REWIND: about a week before Thanksgiving, I’d been thinking about ways to capitalize on the holiday season in this area. The idea came to me to drop of goodies at the ER, fire house, and police department and to thank those working there for their service, especially on such a family-oriented holiday.

So off we went.....

We managed to hit up 2 police departments, the Emergency Room front desk and security department, and 3 fire stations......all in one night. The responses we got from everyone were SO incredibly heart-warming!! I seriously was having “warm fuzzy” highs:) Each reaction of surprise and gratitude that we got from the recipients just about MELTED my heart! Here we are…..two 20 year old girls….hundreds of miles away from home and family….on a Thanksgiving night…..delivering muffins and hot chocolate…and yet having the time. of. our. lives. making others’ Thanksgiving night more pleasant!! I can’t even describe how happy each of those visits made us!!! Service like that just makes my WEEK!!

It felt SO good to be able to give back in a small way to people who dedicate their lives to helping other people. Cause honestly that’s NOT a job I could do (I learned that real quick from dating a firefighter back in the day….WAY back in the day:). I’ll stick to my proselyting;)

By the end of the night, Sis Carroll and I were singing all the way home and practically floating on cloud 9 we were SO giddy happy. It made for an INCREDIBLE Thanksgiving Day…..the best I’ve ever had!!

(even though we didn’t get to play in the turkey bowl…….2015……it’s going DOWN:)

Speaking of police departments…..we also got to help out with the Mundelein Police Department Turkey Drop-off this week too! Oh my FUN. We showed up and got assigned to distribute food to 20+ baskets of thanksgiving dinner goods and then hauled each basket out to the parking lot (along with dozens of turkeys) where we loaded up our cars with the food.

Side story: as we were arranging our caravan with the officer who was leading the group, he offered to put all the food in his car, instead of ours, and then offered to let us ride in the back of his squad car so we wouldn’t have to spend gas and miles in our own car.

sweet mother

There are times when being a missionary and keeping missionary rules is REALLY hard and yea….that was DEFINITELY one of them. I have always wanted to ride in the back of a cop car….BUT because of rules, my companion and I had to decline the offer. Oh well. One day.

#suchakidsometimes

On the flip side, though, it ended up working out well because he had to tally the food supply of each car before leaving, and we happily popped our trunk where six frozen turkeys were snuggled up to Resoration DVD’s, Plan of Salvation pamphlets, and stacks of Book of Mormons.

that’s one way to do it

Our drop-off adventure turned out to be GREAT though! It was a lot of fun and seeing the reactions of those we were giving the food to was such a special experience (AND….because we were with a cop the whole time, we got to park in No Parking Zones, cross four lanes of traffic all with a hand wave, AND SPEED….. #mykindofjob #i’mwithhim #legalrebels:)!!!

Ok last miracle…and then I swear I’ll end this:) So we were in the library this week doing our online proselyting and as we were leaving to go, an Indian guy (like the dot…not the feather kind….please tell me you get this;) came up to us and began asking us why we were always at the library and what “two nice young ladies” were doing with nametags on. We got to explain to him our roles and missionaries, gave him our card, and the address for the church and invited him to come. He told us he’d try and that he had an active interest in learning more about other religions.

We didn’t think much of it until Sunday afternoon when he called us, “Parker…I was there….at church…in the back. I didn’t see you so I left after the first hour. Maybe I come next week…and see you there…”

wait what??

Yea, he legitimately showed up to church, sat through all of sacrament meeting, “enjoyed himself,” and then left when he didn’t see us afterwards. Oops. We were sitting up front with some other investigators and therefore didn’t see him after the meeting which made us feel HORRIBLE. However….when we ended up at the library later this week, he was there and sat down next to me with, “Hi Parker….I like your church…very nice. Maybe I come again and see you this time. Oh….and I have a friend….he’s interested in your church too. Here’s his number…call him anytime”

CAN DO

I took the number from him, and planned on calling his friend, Harry, later. However, the next day rolled around and before we could call him…..we got a phone call FROM him, “Hi, Parker? Yes….my friend Peter said you are missionaries, nice ladies, and that your church is good. I want to come, and also meet with you and talk about religion, Ok?”

>> twist my arm<<

Sis Carroll and I got off the phone and just about starting SCREAMING!!! This was truly a miracle that God placed right in our laps! Just the night before, my companion had been struggling with feelings of discouragement and depression, and I’d felt prompted to testify to her that when things get really rough on the mission—when we reach those lows of lows—there is ALWAYS something the Lord has in store to bless us with if we remain faithful.

That’s been a constant pattern of my mission and it happens over and over and over again. When I bore that testimony to Sis Carroll and had some doubts myself and just prayed that something would turn up that would lighten her spirits and bring us success. Sure enough…..it didn’t take Him two days to answer our prayers!

Harry came to church this Sunday!!!!!!

We were SO excited!!! He told us before we sat down that he’s never been to church before in his life, but that he was ready to try it out! He was attentive during the entire meeting and afterwards said that he thoroughly enjoyed the talks and our champ wardies flocked him afterwards, introducing themselves and welcoming him to our ward.

that’s my ward

We’re gonna keep em:) Harry told us he was so impressed by the warm and friendly attitudes of everyone at church and told us he felt very welcome. He also took us out to the parking lot after sacrament meeting to give us four coffee cakes to thank us for letting him come to church! Ah!!!!! We’re already obsessed with him;) He’s anxious to learn more and is meeting with us tomorrow night! He’s humble and willing to be taught, so we’re SO excited to see the gospel start to take root in his life!

This whole experience again reminded me of God’s goodness. He truly is mindful of each of us. Sometimes, we don’t know why we struggle, suffer, or even feel abandoned by God. BUT…..if my mission has taught me one thing….it’s that GOD is ALWAYS THERE! He knows what we need…and He also knows when to give it. If we but trust in Him, His timing, and His wisdom…..He’ll lead us to where we need to be. He’s always willing to reach out and bless us with those tender mercies—those answers to unspoken prayers—that bring the gentle reminders that He is always walking with us.

Always.

Onward and upward,

Sister Anna Parker

yea.....showed up for a "dinner appointment" at the bowling ally with some investigators and members......do you know how hard it is to bowl in a skirt???  #sisterswag 

yes.....we dropped our phone in a pile of wet leaves....and didn't find it until it'd rained for 3 hours. Minute rice came to the rescue;)

You Better Believe It

I feel like I should start off every weekly email with "guess what???" And then list off all the random, crazy, stupid, funny, amazing, downright wicked stuff I've managed to learn that week.

Here's my chance:

First: you can annihilate an entire 8 generations of fruit flies living and reproducing uncontrollably fast in a small sister missionary's apartment (because of one freakin pineapple trying to get ripe) using the back end of a blow dryer. Plug that baby in, wait for the little pests to come flying around, and then dtttttttzzzzzzzz....they're toast before the other end can even shoot em out. OK.....stop judging....gotta do whatchya gotta do:) you know you wanna try it now......

Second: giving companions tutorials on how to use sock buns will inevitably turn into "wanna see the Princess Leah look??" My excuse: two demos is better than one. The truth: I'm a straight up Star Wars nerd.....#thanksto6brothers #hatersgonnahate

Third: while waiting for dinner to be put on the table at a part-member family's home, if I'm bored and then get handed a handful of mini marshmallows by the kids, I immediately go into entertainer mode and start taking bets on which marshmallow trick shots I can make. I proud to say I've mastered the off-the-wall-and-into-mouth dare and the 10-in-a-row mouth catch. #swag

Fourth: to avoid awkward and confused looks while backing a companion out in the FREEZING cold weather.......pretending to assess and check the tire pressure works like a charm. Yea........this is my life:)

Fifth: running out of gasoline on Sunday is NEVER a good idea. All I'm gonna say. Thank heavens for investigators who are close by, have gasoline lying around in the garage, and who could use a lesson on keeping the sabbath day holy......even if it's in a VERY indirect way:)

Sixth: 7-11 isn't kidding when they say that their hot chocolate is EXTREMELY hot. #stillcanttasteathing   #andthisiswhyidontdrinkcoffee

And last but not least, giving away a Mormon.org cards with your number on it is NOT always a pleasant experience. SOML. Example this week (talking to an attractive young guy who stopped to talk with us): 

"Do you have a church you go to?"

"Sorta, I'm a 7th Day Adventist"

"Oh ok, well could we give you our card? It has our website on it with some information you might be interested in and we can give you our number too if you'd like so you can call us with any questions you have?"

"Sure, I'll take your number, but I'll tell you right now it wouldn't be for that reason..."

*wink and sketch smile*

Aaaaaaand......at that point of COURSE my hand is already extended with our card (and number).......GREAT. Too late now. We finished off that convo pretty quick and luckily he hasn't called us yet. If he does....

"hey elders, guess what?? We have a referral for you!!" 

lol

On Tuesday, we took Katy (the one who's parents won't let her be baptized so she's waiting till she's 18, but who attends seminary, mutual, and church more often then active members;) and her friend Andy to the baptism of an investigator in the other ward. It was SUCH a unique experience being with them and seeing their faces light up as they watched another take this big step. Andy kept saying, "He looks SO happy!! How is he so happy?! He's just SO happy!" We challenged him that night to baptism, and we'll see what he says this week when we meet with him! AHHHHH!!!!!

Prem and James also had dinner with us this week and we talked about receiving answers to prayers. Prem is SO close!!! SO close to getting his answer!! He's trying to read 100 pages a week (!!!) from the Book of Mormon……and get this…..he’s reading through ISAIAH right now. I swear….my investigators are SO much better than me in SO many ways.

#schooled

And THEN….there’s Patrick. Patrick is VERY scientifically minded and has deep DEEP thoughts about God and the universe. Example……..

Patrick: “God is too magnificent to be comprehended by the finite mind. And kind of like how a molecule within the ocean is coursed by the pulls of gravity and the currents of the waves, we’re that molecule. And the water….it’s in us. It’s there…..but we’re bound by the forces of nature and the mind of God. You know what I mean??”

---> (O_o) <---

ummmmmm……..yeeeeeeeaaaaaa???

  (.....no...nope....)

**CLUELESS**

BUT, as we were sitting there…..my mind WAS totally opened to the magnitude of God's power, as Patrick talked about belief in "frequencies" of faith, being mentally "on track" to discern God's patterns in life, and other scientific reasonings behind our purpose here on earth. We shared parts of the plan of salvation with him, and he left telling us, "I thought that tonight was going to be really weird and not worth my time, but I learned a lot. There's something about what you're teaching that's different. There's more to this!"

It was such a testimony building experience for me, because I knew that this doctrine could not be created by man. Here's a guy who's mentally gifted, who's studied the elements of science and reasoning, and yet, the simple doctrine of the plan of happiness opened his mind to higher spheres! And we as the missionaries were astounded that he was as mind-blown as he was, especially since we were SO incapable (that’s an understatement) of answering all of his answers with the same depth of thought that he approached them with.

God work’s miracles though….AND we definitely saw one;) Patrick left us that night with, “This s*** is great! It totally makes sense!” Hey at least he meant well;) AND….he wants to meet again.

whatever it takes

:)

It’s been a satisfying week with SO many rewarding experiences that opened my mind to God’s goodness. This work is challenging, but we’re seeing the hand of God in our lives and others on a DAILY basis. You better believe it. 

And…we’re having fun while we’re at it.

What could be better?

Onward and upward,

Sis Anna Parker

....what we do while waiting for investigators to show up.....

it's a real thing.......recreating my halloween costume from 10+ years ago....#tbt

our candy bar poster we made for a wardie......yea....we're that cool;)