What I Wished I'd Known Before Coming Home

Ok....the title says it all. As promised....here's everything I'd wished I would've known before coming home .....and other tips, suggestions, and things I just happened to get right my first go at it:)

Some of these are things I did before I even left the field and some are things I did (or wish I did:) during the 3-9 weeks months of limbo following the awkward see-the-family-for-the-first-time-while-coming-down-the-escalator-but-can't-go-any-faster-to-meet-them moment.

Admit it...we've all thought how awkward that 12.8 seconds is.....

:]

So here goes:

WHAT I WISHED I'D KNOWN BEFORE COMING HOME

(Before leaving the field)

- Start eliminate unwanted or extra clothing/items 2-3 weeks before you go home...it cuts down on packing (aka STRESS/CRAMMING) time towards the end 

- It's ok to feel tired;)...it means you're working hard! (Read about Alma and Moroni's "rest" after their hard efforts)....just know that your rest comes later...work hard NOW!

- Satan will try hard those last few weeks in EVERY way...don't let him win! Work hard, be obedient, stay focused, pray harder than you ever have before, and give it ALL to the Lord!

- Send on packages home if need be/possible 1-2 weeks before coming home. I sent home bulky items/mission keepsakes in a box to save on luggage space and avoid fees at the airport. 

- Mission debit cards for departing missionaries are loaded based on the number of days in the month (vs the whole month's worth) that you have left to serve. So for instance, I came home on the 16th so I got 16 days worth of funds (about $5 a day). Budget out your last cycle's worth of mission funds in case unexpected expenses come up as you start planning to go home. 

- Because it's practically impossible to say goodbye to everyone (esp converts) from old areas (or even from you current area) before you go home, consider writing "farewell" letters to them before you leave the mission. 

- Ask to bear your testimony your last Sunday (or take advantage of Fast and Testimony meeting) on the mission in your last ward! Trust me, it's an AMAZING experience!!

- KEEP A JOURNAL. Seriously...write down EVERYTHING you can! Those last few weeks are filled with some of the most precious/interesting/life-changing/

- Building off that last one...in your last interview with your mission president, remember everything you can and then the minute you get out....WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU REMEMBER!!! Trust me......you're going to want/need it later...more like forever:) 

(When you get home)

- The ABSOLUTE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE ANY RM: KEEP THE MORNING SCHEDULE!! I can't stress this enough. At first, I didn't really think it was that big of a deal, but now I realize that it's CRITICAL. Rise up early, exercise, put the Lord first and really study your scriptures. Ponder, pray, and have your personal time with the Savior. 

- Have a plan before coming home. Plan on getting a calling, a job, starting school, volunteering in the community....ANYTHING. Just get busy doing the RIGHT things. You know where I'm going with this..... "be anxiously engaged in a good cause:)" 

- Write down everything. Yes.....I'll say it again....KEEP A JOURNAL. It will keep you on track, close to the Lord, thinking things through, and aware of the guidance of the spirit in your life. Just do it...ok....trust me:)

- Stay connected with investigators, LA's, members, etc.! Write them, message them, connect with them on social media, call them, FaceTime them! You will ALWAYS be their missionary! Don't EVER give that up!! 

- Stay involved with missionary work!!  That badge on your heart NEVER comes off! Go out with the missionaries, always keep a BoM and mormon.org cards on you to give away, post mormon messages on social media, build your own investigator pool of friends and neighbors, get a calling and work with less actives! 

- "You don't have to lose [the spirit]!" One of our AP's told us that the last night in the field and it has totally stuck with me. When you come home, you DON'T have to lose the "spiritual high"  everyone talks about if you don't want to. And it is ABSOLUTELY true. It is completely up to you. If you put in your work, time, effort, desire, and heart....you can keep that spiritual high. The Lord will NOT take that away from you!!

- Re-find "investigators" (family members, youth, friends, neighbors, etc.)! This work doesn't stay in the field! The world is your field!! (you've just been re-located:) 

- Get a routine down. I HATED routine before the mission...but now I can't live without it. Get your own post-mish routine down and stick with it. 

- Elder Perry visited our mission the week before I left and told us, "If I ever meet you after your missions, I'm going to ask you if you're using a calendar all the time to effectively budget your time.....and if you're not than you are wasting the knowledge and training you have received here on your mission!" USE A CALENDAR!! BUDGET YOUR TIME!! 

-  Give yourself time to adjust. Don't feel like you have to rush it, but also don't feel like you have to take it slow. Just let things happen the way they happen, and as long as your close to the spirit, let yourself get back into your hobbies, relationships, interests, etc. 

- BREATHE....don't take life too seriously at first...it'll all come with time:) 

- My mission president told us, "Elders and sisters, going home from a mission isn't death...life goes on;)" Yes.....yes...it does:) Forge on in faith!

And now for some 10 second summary advice.....just remember to put your relationship with the Lord above ALL ELSE in your life. He is your best friend and will be at your side through it all if you will stay next to His. Yes, it will take time, and yes, it will take effort. Coming home from a mission can and will be a bit rocky at first. It's not the most graceful experience of your life. but hey....it's all part of the ride:) 

Really, though, if you can keep your faith firm and your hope bright, everything else in your sometimes tailspin-of-an-RM life will come together. Dedicate yourself to your spiritual life, first and foremost. Those spiritual muscles have been worked day in and day out for the past 18-24 months and yea, they might be bone tired.....but you DO NOT want to wake up one day and realize that all that strength...all that power...that might...and that conviction...that was so painstakingly built and fortified, has been lost due to negligence and apathy. 

Your work life, your school life, your dating life, your family life, your financial life, your social life....it will all work together for your good and the Lord will be at the helm to guide you if you will but put your SPIRITUAL life FIRST. 

STUDY your scriptures daily. 

PRAY always.

Attend the temple.

Fast.

Ask for priesthood blessings.

Serve faithfully in your calling.

Continue to share the gospel.

Counsel with the Lord in EVERYTHING.

The so-called "adjusting" back to "normal" life should NOT be a spiritual one!!! 

Maintain the spiritual practices, habits, and gifts you've developed on your mission. Don't slack off! It can be SOOOO tempting sometimes, but don't even think about it:) Keep your sights high and remember that you're not alone....the Lord has promised, "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up" (D&C 84:88)

That promise doesn't end at the completion of a mission! 

He is with you.....ALWAYS!!!

Onward and upward....you got this:)

Coming Home: The Final Days

I swore I wasn't going to be that RM that finished her mission, flew home, and then went  MIA, leaving all her blog readers wondering if she ever made it out alive. 

Aaaaaand.....yet.....here I am. 

>>>AWKWARD<<<

Good news is I am alive. That's miracle #1. 

Miracle #2 is that I'm actually getting this post up before the end of my first transfer home...   virtual high 5 please:)

Ok....where do I even start??

Leaving the mission was one of the hardest, sweetest, most spiritual, difficult, rewarding,  heartbreaking things I've ever done. Those last couple weeks were TOUGH.....like up-until-the-last-day kind of tough.

I passed out not once, not twice...but three times the morning of my last P-day and  they were all pretty severe soooooo...my champ of a comp called for reinforcements....gotta love  them EMT's:) Basically.....I wrote my last email to President and home from a hopsital bed,  hooked up  to a million wires,  waiting for blood work results,  and for a freakishly large IV bag to quit dripping. 

I had the distinct impression the week before when I was writing president that that last  week was going to be tough. Funny how the spirit is always right. That week was been hardand that ER trip seemed to be the icing on the cake. BUT, yet, through it all, I had the  assuring feeling that the Lord knew what He was doing. I guess I would have felt like a fish out of water if that week hadn't been hard:)

So when that prompting came, I remember praying, "Alright then. Thy will be done. Let's do this." Aaaaaaand....we did. Aaaaaand it was tough....we had investigators cancel  appointments on us faster than Simon cuts auditioners off of X-factor.... but we managed,  with a lot of prayer, to fill our days with service, visits, and most importantly, the SPIRIT. 

Speaking of the spirit, L TOM PERRY CAME TO ADDRESS US!!! Talk about a spiritual fire hose. And oh my gosh, it was amazing!!! The whole time he was talking I felt like I was on  the edge of my seat. Everything he said is what I've been preaching my entire mission..... that creativity is crucial in missionary work!! Yea and get this....this is a direct quote, "I'm  disappointed with the number of hours you're spending tracting. That's as outdated as I was as a full time missionary!--if you can't think of anything else more creative to do you're not being inspired!" 

YES. 

Yes yes yes. This is what I've been waiting to hear (and putting into practice) my whole  mission. Then he said, "Get CREATIVE!!!" Oh my gosh. I have a new favorite apostle!  Haha! Seriously, he was such a joy to listen to....and...turns out, he served his mission here as well!  He mentioned, "I send my favorites to Chicago!" 

What a gem:)

 Basically, that meeting was one of the most precious meetings of my mission and not  surprisingly, it was exactly what I needed to hear before I head home to become a  MEMBER MISSIONARY!!! Psyched. I have a lot more notes from his talk, but I'll probably  put them up in a different post with more thoughts later....so stay posted:)

Finally, those last few days of the mission were difficult, but it's called enduring to the END  for a reason. So I endured:) Towards the end of the week (specifically the night before  transfers) I remember getting on my knees and begging the Lord to accept my offering of  this mission. I begged Him to confirm to me that this mission was pleasing in His sight and  that I had done well. I wanted to know that I had completed my work here and had finished all that I needed to do in the time I'd been given to serve. 

The thoughts of doubt and self-judgment  weighed  heavily   on me  over the  next day  as we drove to transfer meeting. I wondered if I had done everything I was meany to do as a missionary, if I had done my best....if I had given my all. I was nervous about the future, wondering about the next chapter of my life, how I would "adjust" back to "normal" life,  confused about my purpose in this next stage, and completely torn between my love of the  mission and my love of the good things next to come. 

We finally sang our mission song, Hope of Israel, at the close of the meeting, and tears  streamed down my face as all of us--"Zion's Army"--shot up to   stand and fist  punched the air  during the last verse as we sang, "Hope of Israel, rise in might,  with the sword of  truth and might!"

I have stood with Zion's Army. I've fought with the Hope of Israel for the past 18 months. We have risen in might. We have fought for Zion. We have fought against sin, and we have  conquered. 

I could barely sing those words as the thoughts of resigning from the ranks of that army of  valiant youth began to sink in. It is hard to walk off that field.....SO hard. And it hit me as we stood on the stand, singing that song one last time,   just how sweet this experience has been.

It hit me again as I then said goodbye with many tears to the companions I've come to love with all my heart. They have become--literally--sisters to me and   I LOVE those girls!! We were then whisked away into vans and

 shuttled to the temple where we attended an endowment session, even though I can't say  how much we absorbed--I'm pretty sure all of our thoughts were a million miles away. 

However, as we were sitting there, I offered up a silent prayer, begging Heavenly Father to again witness to me that my mission was acceptable to Him. The clear prompting came,  "When you get to the Celestial Room, open up the scriptures, and I will answer you."

My heart was filled. And sure enough, by the time we got to the Celestial Room, I couldn't  get my hands on the scriptures fast enough. I flipped opened the scripture and my eyes  immediately fell to the first sentence of Alma 39:17 which reads, "And now I will ease your mind somewhat on this subject."

I wept.

And then the clear prompting came to then flip to the doctrine and covenants. I did so and  the pages fell open to D&C section 6. I began reading in verse 9 and continued reading,  receiving clear instruction from the spirit that I have done the work I was sent to do, and not only that, but that my work as a missionary does not end here. That brought such peace  and comfort to my heart. This is not the end. My test is not over.....it's just begun. This 18 months is my MTC for the rest of my life:) This is just the beginning of a lifetime of  missionary work! 

YAY!!

Then, I continued on to verses 22 and 23 which reads, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you  desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak  peace to your  mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can  you have than from God?"

And I wept again!

The Lord answered my prayers SO specifically and directly that my heart was FILLED and my mind was flooded with memories of those nights when I begged Him on my knees for  answers to that same question and He gave it. Or those moments when I doubted and He  responded to me by comforting me and assuring me that my work was worth it. All those  memories and many more came flooding back into my mind and it was as if those few  verses were being spoken to me by God himself!!!

It was an experience I will NEVER forget!!

It has been worth it! It IS acceptable to Him! He made that very clear to me that day in the  temple and how grateful I was that day walking out of that Celestial Room for the blessing  of heaven on earth--temples. It is there that God speaks to us--specifically and individually--about the real and deep problems and concerns that we face, and it is there that he speaks peace to our minds and comfort to our souls! AH!!! He is there and that day in the temple, I heard His voice in my heart!

After the temple, we went to the mission home, had dinner (which consisted of each  missionaries' requested dish....I KNOW....my mission president's wife is an ANGEL!:) and  then we  had an AMAZING evening together sharing testimonies,  hearing from our mission president, his wife, the senior couples and then we got to have  interviews and a blessing from President.

AH!! I can't even express what that time with him meant to me! I don't think I've ever come  to love a priesthood holder in my life more than President Woodbury. Every minute I get to spend with him leaves me wanting to be a better person. I got to sit there with him and visit with him, learn from him, cry with him, and pray with him one last time.....and that as well, is an experience I will never forget. He has changed my life forever and I will be forever  grateful for him in my life!

It was about 1am by the time we got to bed and with so many missionaries going home  (there were 34 of us) any empty space in the entire mission home was taken up by fold-out mattresses and sleeping bags, so I opted for the luxury suite--a closet. 
Trust me....it WAS actually luxury....it was dark, secluded, and quite:).....hard to come by
with 30+ people going to bed at all different times, lights still on everywhere, laughter,  whispers, crying, showers running, footsteps going up and down stairs, and the occasional door slam. So yes....the closet suite was VERY appealing:)

#livininstyle

At first, I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep, I had SO many thoughts running through my  head. Trust me....it's the STRANGEST feeling in the world lying there, wondering if this is actually happening. I just felt numb while my mind was going 90 miles an hour. But before I knew it, I was out like a light and next thing I knew, my alarm was going off at 4 am. Then  it was showering, getting ready, last minute packing, doing make up and hair with a hand held mirror in the living room because all the bathrooms were being used, prayers in  the foyer with President and Sis Woodbury and then I GOT TO HUG PRESIDENT. 

I have waited 18 1/2 LONG MONTHS for that hug and it was OH SO SWEET!!!!!! That was probably the HARDEST goodbye of my mission. It RIPPED my heart out to leave him, not  being able to even come close to expressing how much I have grow to love and admire him. It was SO hard to walk away, to get into that van, knowing that I would never again serve  as a missionary in his mission. But luckily, they whisked us into the vans quickly and off we went to the airport while it was still dark. We got there, and said more goodbyes, got our  luggage checked easily... 

(thank heavens.....because i seriously HATE TSA with a passion.......seriously....who would ever chose to work a job like that where you KNOW that people don't even like you and all you do all day is get people in trouble,  pop people's bubbles, and take stuff from them?? I don't get it......ANWAYS......tangent.....;)

And before I knew it, I was sitting on a plane, WITHOUT A COMPANION, and ready to bawl my eyes out looking at the Chicago skyline for the last time (yea that's kinda dramatic, but it's how you feel as a missionary) and feeling SO completely and utterly alone, confused,  overwhelmed, nervous, excited, sad, anxious, and content.....ALL AT THE SAME TIME. 

If you think being a girl is emotional rough, try being a girl, a sister missionary, going home  from a mission, AND at that time of the month..... RECIPE for WRECK. 

So while wallowing in my own self pity, and legitimately debating how I was going to kill the next hour-long plane ride, I got a VERY clear prompting that changed the rest of my journey  home.... and  far beyond.....

But this post is already TOO long....soooooo....wait till the next post to find out what that prompting was, how I brought a guy home, and more juicy details of life as an oh-so-awkward RM:)  

>>you can thank me later<<

Stay posted for more coming soon!!!

this place has my <3...always will!

Pictures from my past P-day in the mission.......just another day in the life:)

my comp is an angel:)